If a child exudes a sense of helplessness in the face of, say, taking off their own pyjamas before getting dressed or putting on their own shoes and coat, and refuses to clear up toys or even feed themselves, here are the Secret 7 to set them on the road to self-responsibility. Step back. You’re frazzled and watching the clock, so it’s easier to crash in and push on a child's wellies (a little abruptly maybe). But hang on. If you continually complete tasks for a child who is